


Monsters

by thatmcbastard (blueb1rd)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mini-Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-29
Updated: 2013-04-29
Packaged: 2017-12-09 22:13:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/778562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueb1rd/pseuds/thatmcbastard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thing is, Stiles doesn't really know what he wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Monsters

The thing is, Stiles doesn't really know what he wants.

He used to. It used to be so simple. Because there was Lydia, right? And she was beautiful and smart and kind of scary, and he was just a kid, so all he had to do was want her. Pine from a distance. Make plans that never went anywhere.

Lydia is still all of those things, but Stiles doesn't feel like a kid. Not after the things he's seen. Not after the things he's done. He doesn't feel quite like a man, either. There's too much on his shoulders for it to be couched in so simple a term. Human hearts aren't shaped like his. They're not burned black and twisted by desperation and experience.

It's funny, because he spends all his time with monsters, but he's the one who feels like one.

\--

The first time he kisses Derek, his lips taste like ash and it feels like poison, but at least it's something else to think about.

They start like that, no good for each other but no good for anyone else, either. It's fucked up, Stiles knows it's fucked up, because they don't even like each other, but they can't seem to do without each other anyway.

Even monsters need a lifeline to cling to, he guesses.

\--

He doesn't know when things change. When being with Derek starts to feel like something good, instead a mutual expression of self-loathing. It's gradual as shit and Stiles doesn't even notice it until he finds himself sitting next to Derek on the couch, tucked into Derek's side watching some stupid movie just for an excuse to be near each other and fuck. _Fuck_.

He's in love with Derek.

He freezes and Derek notices, lifting his eyebrows, but Stiles doesn't say anything. He's not going to say anything. He kisses Derek instead, because it's always been a good way to drown out the sound of the voice in his head.

The careful way Derek holds him and kisses back says that Derek loves him, too.

It's terrifying and strange and Stiles still doesn't know what he wants.

But he thinks it might be monster shaped.


End file.
